mama grief – FALLING RIGHT SIDE UP

𝐻𝑜𝓌’𝓈 𝒾𝓉 𝑔𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑔 ?

… it’s a question you ask in parenthood the moment your child leaves your arms, exits your home, or quite frankly does anything outside of your presence for more than just a few hours. Your partner takes the baby for a while: you find yourself checking in, “How’s it going?” Date night with your spouse:Continue reading “𝐻𝑜𝓌’𝓈 𝒾𝓉 𝑔𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑔 ?”

🧸𝟭𝗦𝗧 “𝗧𝗘𝗗𝗗𝗬” 𝗕𝗘𝗔𝗥 𝗚𝗜𝗩𝗘-𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧🧸

This past weekend, we officially made our first trip back to Pittsburgh, PA since Theodore passed away in April, 2020. Along with providing a catered lunch for the Ronald McDonald House Facility, attached to UPMC Children’s Hospital, our intention was to “fill the (coffee) cups” of as many parents as possible… However, it was definitelyContinue reading “🧸𝟭𝗦𝗧 “𝗧𝗘𝗗𝗗𝗬” 𝗕𝗘𝗔𝗥 𝗚𝗜𝗩𝗘-𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧🧸”

𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗟𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗦 👋🏼

When your child dies before you, it’s what you live for… the ‘little hellos’ that take you by surprise; the ‘little hellos’ that keep you going for the next hour, the next day, the next year without them… It’s the ‘little hello’ from the red cardinal that swoops down in front of your car. It’sContinue reading “𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗟𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗦 👋🏼 “

𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝟰𝘁𝗵 𝗕𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗱𝗮𝘆

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗼𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗲 August 30, 2023 Here I am again at the water’s edge. I find myself chasing the coast line to feel closer to you. You seem bigger here; maybe because I feel so minuscule compared to the enormous crashing waves at my feet. The fierce waters roar, yet somehow their tonic pulse is calming to myContinue reading “𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝟰𝘁𝗵 𝗕𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗱𝗮𝘆 “

You Better Not Pout, You Better Not Cry… 🎅🏼

“You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout…” … scratch that, because actually, sometimes it’s okay! You’d be wearing your 3T Christmas Tree Sweater that matches perfectly with MacKenna and Arthur. I imagine you in a brand new phase of ‘fascination with Santa’, showing your little brother that he’s really notContinue reading “You Better Not Pout, You Better Not Cry… 🎅🏼”

ARTHUR IS ➓ 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗛𝗦!

⫸ 𝕋𝕠𝕡 𝕋𝕖𝕟 𝕋𝕚𝕕𝕓𝕚𝕥𝕤 ⫷—————————➙ 18 pounds 13 ounce➙ 28.75 inches long➙ new words: “Ga-Ga!” & “Maaaa!”➙ got 4 new teeth on top all at once➙ “Mr. Open-Mouth Slobbery Smoocher”➙ smacks lips and signs for “more” food➙ favorite: swinging fast at the park➙ only drinks from special 360-rim sippy cup➙ lowered crib since strong boyContinue reading “ARTHUR IS ➓ 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗛𝗦!”

Seeing The Unseen

𝗦𝗲𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗨𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗻 It’s such a blessing and a curse. The hard truth is when I look at a picture of my children, I instantly see the one that is missing. It is my broken heart that sometimes has the 20/20 vision, while my regular eyesight takes a backseat. I see the unseen. I see the empty spaceContinue reading “Seeing The Unseen”