Seeing The Unseen

๐—ฆ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ดย ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒย ๐—จ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ป Itโ€™s such a blessing and a curse.  The hard truth is when I look at a picture of my children, I instantly see the one that is missing.  It is my broken heart that sometimes has the 20/20 vision, while my regular eyesight takes a backseat. I see the unseen. I see the empty spaceContinue reading “Seeing The Unseen”

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒย ๐—™๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜ย ๐—Ÿ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ

๐Ÿฐ/๐Ÿต/๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฌ ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—™๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—Ÿ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ I saw the flat line.  It was a flat line that told me your heart was finally too tired to produce another beat.  An illuminated flat line had the ability to call the attention of dozens of people within seconds; my own eyes being the first and the last to acknowledge the magnitude of itsContinue reading “๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒย ๐—™๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜ย ๐—Ÿ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ”

โž‘ย ๐— ๐—ข๐—ก๐—ง๐—›๐—ฆ!

โซธย ๐•‹๐• ๐•กย ๐•‹๐•–๐•Ÿย ๐•‹๐•š๐••๐•“๐•š๐•ฅ๐•คย โซท โž™ 17 pounds 5 ounces โž™ 27.5 inches long โž™ only sits still for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse โž™ rather nibble on own feet vs. dinner  โž™ โ€œMr. Crazy Squawky Pantsโ€ โž™ hits fists on mouth to make funny sounds โž™ huge fan of peanut butter  โž™ loves when Mama sings โ€˜Open-Shut Themโ€™ โž™ย highly offended if binky is offeredย ย  โž™ย obsessed with banana puffsContinue reading “โž‘ย ๐— ๐—ข๐—ก๐—ง๐—›๐—ฆ!”

โ€˜223 Reminiscent Daysโ€™ with โ€œmy boy(s)โ€…

Today, you outlive your brother.  Which means: 223 days of loving you… 223 days of studying your eyes; I fixate on the faint gold ring around your dark pupil and how it dissolves into a large mass of deep crystal blue.  223 days of kissing your head; I lean in with pursed lips, simultaneously inhalingContinue reading “โ€˜223 Reminiscent Daysโ€™ with โ€œmy boy(s)โ€…”

THEODORE NELSON BRINGS ‘CHD AWARENESS’ TO TELEVISION! ๐Ÿ“บ

Mama certainly prefers being ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ the camera verses in front of it… but Iโ€™d also climb to the top of Mount Everest if it meant sharing your story, Theodore… โ€˜CHD Awarenessโ€™ is now something I will be forever passionate about until the day I die, when I can hold my courageous heart warrior in myContinue reading “THEODORE NELSON BRINGS ‘CHD AWARENESS’ TO TELEVISION! ๐Ÿ“บ”

โค โ…” โค

Hereโ€™sย ๐Ÿย of myย ๐Ÿ‘ย little Valentines that will forever occupy their own little spaces in my heart. Theodore has taught me that our hearts are cool like that… what the eyes can no longer see, the heart will always remember.ย ย And even though my heart feels very empty with one Valentine gone, the perfectly portioned sections specially reserved forContinue reading “โค โ…” โค”

๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ง๐—›๐—จ๐—ฅ ๐—œ๐—ฆ โž ๐— ๐—ข๐—ก๐—ง๐—›๐—ฆ!

โซธ ๐•‹๐• ๐•ก ๐•‹๐•–๐•Ÿ ๐•‹๐•š๐••๐•“๐•š๐•ฅ๐•ค โซทโ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โž™ 16 pounds 1 ounceโž™ 26.25 inches longโž™ rosey cheeks; poor teething babeโž™ sits-up unassisted for a few minutesโž™ โ€œMr. Handsome Hot Temperโ€โž™ wakes up 1-2 times a night for a snackย โž™ devours all of Mamaโ€™s homemade purรฉesโž™ favs: snowy walks & blowing raspberriesย  ย โž™ refuses the bottle and demands Mamaโž™Continue reading “๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ง๐—›๐—จ๐—ฅ ๐—œ๐—ฆ โž ๐— ๐—ข๐—ก๐—ง๐—›๐—ฆ!”

๐—ก๐—ข๐—ง โ€œ๐—ง๐—ช๐—ขโ€ ๐—™๐—”๐—ฅ ๐—”๐—ช๐—”๐—ฌ…๐ŸŽ‚

Oh Theodore, you wouldโ€™ve been TWO today…ย  I remember this moment…ย  I remember being so thrilled that you were โ€œcomfortableโ€ enough on this particular day to lay โ€˜chest to chestโ€™ with mommy; feeling your chest rise and fall with each breath against mine was well worth recruiting someone to help coordinate the process of delicatelyContinue reading “๐—ก๐—ข๐—ง โ€œ๐—ง๐—ช๐—ขโ€ ๐—™๐—”๐—ฅ ๐—”๐—ช๐—”๐—ฌ…๐ŸŽ‚”

โšก๏ธWONDER WOMAN IS 6โšก๏ธ

I laughed when this little โ€œsuperheroโ€ requested a โ€˜Wonder Woman Birthdayโ€™ because prior to last month, the words were never even in her vocabulary… Ironically, her โ€˜silly thoughtโ€™ quickly evolved to a very โ€˜appropriate suggestionโ€™, as I soon began to realize that MacKenna casted herself for the perfect role… I think back over the pastContinue reading “โšก๏ธWONDER WOMAN IS 6โšก๏ธ”

1 Year In Heaven…๐Ÿ‘ผ

Tomorrow, April 9, 2020 – My heart broke the same day yours was made whole… And although I miss you more with every beat of my broken heart, Iโ€™d gladly give-up a piece of my heart, to know that God has replaced the missing piece of yours… I hope you know how absolutely, incredibly PERFECTContinue reading “1 Year In Heaven…๐Ÿ‘ผ”