Theodore’s 3rd Birthday in Heaven๐ŸŽˆ

August 30, 2019 It was the day that you, my breathtakingly beautiful baby, redefined the meaning of my entire life. It was a day that your perfect self entered our world through so many imperfect adversities. And still, somehow, Mama finds it more difficult to manage the raw emotion surrounding the day that you enteredContinue reading “Theodore’s 3rd Birthday in Heaven๐ŸŽˆ”

My Easel Backย ๏ฟผ

Thatโ€™s right, Michael Nelson, youโ€™re an easel back. Hear me out… Iโ€™m talking about those long straight edge structures that protrude out from behind a picture frame. It may be the unpopular opinion, but the โ€˜easel backโ€™ is quite frankly the most important piece. Without it, the beautiful image behind glass would simply fall flatContinue reading “My Easel Backย ๏ฟผ”

Seeing The Unseen

๐—ฆ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ดย ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒย ๐—จ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ป Itโ€™s such a blessing and a curse.  The hard truth is when I look at a picture of my children, I instantly see the one that is missing.  It is my broken heart that sometimes has the 20/20 vision, while my regular eyesight takes a backseat. I see the unseen. I see the empty spaceContinue reading “Seeing The Unseen”

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒย ๐—™๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜ย ๐—Ÿ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ

๐Ÿฐ/๐Ÿต/๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฌ ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—™๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—Ÿ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ I saw the flat line.  It was a flat line that told me your heart was finally too tired to produce another beat.  An illuminated flat line had the ability to call the attention of dozens of people within seconds; my own eyes being the first and the last to acknowledge the magnitude of itsContinue reading “๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒย ๐—™๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜ย ๐—Ÿ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ”

โž‘ย ๐— ๐—ข๐—ก๐—ง๐—›๐—ฆ!

โซธย ๐•‹๐• ๐•กย ๐•‹๐•–๐•Ÿย ๐•‹๐•š๐••๐•“๐•š๐•ฅ๐•คย โซท โž™ 17 pounds 5 ounces โž™ 27.5 inches long โž™ only sits still for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse โž™ rather nibble on own feet vs. dinner  โž™ โ€œMr. Crazy Squawky Pantsโ€ โž™ hits fists on mouth to make funny sounds โž™ huge fan of peanut butter  โž™ loves when Mama sings โ€˜Open-Shut Themโ€™ โž™ย highly offended if binky is offeredย ย  โž™ย obsessed with banana puffsContinue reading “โž‘ย ๐— ๐—ข๐—ก๐—ง๐—›๐—ฆ!”

โ€˜223 Reminiscent Daysโ€™ with โ€œmy boy(s)โ€…

Today, you outlive your brother.  Which means: 223 days of loving you… 223 days of studying your eyes; I fixate on the faint gold ring around your dark pupil and how it dissolves into a large mass of deep crystal blue.  223 days of kissing your head; I lean in with pursed lips, simultaneously inhalingContinue reading “โ€˜223 Reminiscent Daysโ€™ with โ€œmy boy(s)โ€…”

THEODORE NELSON BRINGS ‘CHD AWARENESS’ TO TELEVISION! ๐Ÿ“บ

Mama certainly prefers being ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ the camera verses in front of it… but Iโ€™d also climb to the top of Mount Everest if it meant sharing your story, Theodore… โ€˜CHD Awarenessโ€™ is now something I will be forever passionate about until the day I die, when I can hold my courageous heart warrior in myContinue reading “THEODORE NELSON BRINGS ‘CHD AWARENESS’ TO TELEVISION! ๐Ÿ“บ”

โค โ…” โค

Hereโ€™sย ๐Ÿย of myย ๐Ÿ‘ย little Valentines that will forever occupy their own little spaces in my heart. Theodore has taught me that our hearts are cool like that… what the eyes can no longer see, the heart will always remember.ย ย And even though my heart feels very empty with one Valentine gone, the perfectly portioned sections specially reserved forContinue reading “โค โ…” โค”

๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ง๐—›๐—จ๐—ฅ ๐—œ๐—ฆ โžŽ ๐— ๐—ข๐—ก๐—ง๐—›๐—ฆ!

โซธ ๐•‹๐• ๐•ก ๐•‹๐•–๐•Ÿ ๐•‹๐•š๐••๐•“๐•š๐•ฅ๐•ค โซทโ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โž™ 15 pounds 1 ounceโž™ 25.5 inches longโž™ reaches for anything in sight, our faces includedโž™ met Santa, but infatuated with Mrs. Clausโž™ โ€œMr. Iโ€™ll Bite Your Knucklesโ€ (if you let me)โž™ enjoyed 1st Thanksgiving at the tableโž™ sleeps through the night… when Dad is homeโž™ favorite: staring at all theContinue reading “๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ง๐—›๐—จ๐—ฅ ๐—œ๐—ฆ โžŽ ๐— ๐—ข๐—ก๐—ง๐—›๐—ฆ!”

Merry Christmas- 2021

Tears are allowed to exist amongst happiness; when they appear, theyโ€™re just deemed โ€˜happy tearsโ€™.ย  So surely smiles are allowed to exist amongst grief; I say we just deem them โ€˜grieving smilesโ€™… These grieving smiles are certainly forced at times; yet they also originate from new perspective, and carry immense gratitude for the present day.Continue reading “Merry Christmas- 2021”