Today, you outlive your brother.
223 days of loving you…
223 days of studying your eyes; I fixate on the faint gold ring around your dark pupil and how it dissolves into a large mass of deep crystal blue.
223 days of kissing your head; I lean in with pursed lips, simultaneously inhaling your perfect baby sent, and I’m always greeted with some sparse fuzzy hairs tickling my nose.
223 days of holding your hands; I delicately wrapped your wrinkly newborn fingers around mine, and I now encase your entire pudgy palms to provide support during the proud moments of balancing upright.
223 days of singing to you; I instinctively put a melody to most of our communication, as I yearn to provide your laughs in the good times, and your comfort in the hard times.
Mama can barely believe that she had these same 223 days with your brother, Theodore. And then tomorrow comes ‘day 224’; yet again the beginning of a new chapter. Tomorrow is the first “𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘢” day that I’ll be able to spend with you; a day I was never given with your brother. I’d be lying if I said that entering this uncharted territory wasn’t overwhelming; I’ve found a ‘weird peace’ in always recognizing your wide variety of similarities with Theodore. But now, I must rely on my imagination and always wonder from here on out how many of your characteristics truly would emulate ‘Big Brother’.
I so badly wish this milestone wasn’t our reality, but Mama is forever grateful for the gift of these past ‘223 reminiscent days’ with “my boy(s)”…
It’s amazing just how much love can grow in 223 days; it can root itself so deep and so strong that not even death can kill it.
… join me by #FallingRightSideUp 👆🏼
when life gets turned upside down👇🏼