Twas’ the night before surgery… when all through Mom’s mind, many thoughts were stirring, none two of a kind…
Sometimes it feels like I am drowning in my own thoughts; so many thoughts, like millions of water droplets compiling together, creating one big raging sea. In the midst of negative speculations and unfavorable odds, I begin to gasp for breath while thrashing against the waves. It’s like constantly treading water, it simply becomes overwhelming and exhausting to filter through all the “what if’s” that tomorrow could hold. It is ONLY when I lift my eyes up and look to the heavens (Isaiah 40:26), that I begin to peacefully float on top of the water; my vast sea of “thoughts” all of a sudden become manageable once I settle down, remain still, and remember that God is in control (Psalm 46:10). It is amazing how we can instantly become buoyant once we point our chin up to the sky; once we handle ourselves correctly, we can go from uncontrolled sinking, to quickly rising above the surface. Just like the water, our thoughts can act as a ‘support’ instead of a ‘hindrance’ if we choose to actively filter out the negativity. This journey has been filled with countless mind-boggling predictions of struggles that our son’s future could hold… but I have to diligently train myself to only focus on the present…
AND – at the present moment, it’s midnight; it’s officially “surgery day” – so I am sitting here staring at my son, memorizing every little feature of my precious baby boy because by tomorrow afternoon, the doctors predict that many of those beautiful details will be altered. Over the past two days they have given us quite a few warnings. They warned us that they would be cutting open the scar on his chest that just took two months to properly heal. They warned us that he would have chest tubes restitched into his belly for drainage purposes. They warned us that due to excessive swelling with surgery that his sternum would remain open for a couple days upon exiting the operating room. They warned us that 2 out of every 10 babies die right on the table… And despite these warnings, at just two months old, my Theodore will be enduring his second open heart surgery.
We have been told countless times that this is an EXTREMELY risky surgery, but at this point, Theodore cannot remain stable much longer without an intervention. We are grateful that his head surgeon, Dr. Morell, feels comfortable to take such a chance with this next step. This surgery is not straightforward whatsoever – it requires multiple steps that encompass a total reconstruction of his heart. The Norwood converts the right ventricle into the main ventricle, pumping blood to both the lungs and the body. After they remove Teddy’s ‘PDA bands’ and his PDA altogether, they will connect the main pulmonary artery and the aorta. The main pulmonary artery is cut off from the two branching pulmonary arteries that direct blood to each side of the lungs. Instead, a connection called a shunt is placed between the pulmonary arteries and the aorta to supply blood to the lungs. Theodore’s entire aortic arch will become wider in order to accommodate better “blood flow”….In Jesus Name, Theodore will “make history” in this hospital and be the first ‘HLHS baby’ with an intact atrial septum to make it through a Norwood open heart surgery.
Whenever my mind says: “let go & give up”, my heart says: “hold on & press forward”… My blood pressure is high. My nerves are high. My emotions are high. My adrenaline is high. My excitement is high. My anticipation is high. My hopes are high… but most of all, MY. FAITH. IS. HIGH. I have Faith that we are right where we’re supposed to be, so in return, my expectations are also high. I am expecting this extremely HIGH RISK surgery to reveal an extremely GREAT REWARD… I am expecting that just when I THINK my thought-life is on track, the God of the impossible will surprise us with the UNTHINKABLE! #GodsGotThis
-️ Momma Bear, Praying Isaiah 53:5
TEDDY BEAR PRAYER:
My precious Theodore will be rolled down to the operating room by 8:00AM today, November 13th, 2019. Please pass along our request for prayer to all your family & friends who will pray for our son during this long operation. We greatly appreciate every single prayer sent up to heaven for a miraculous outcome! We were told that the surgery could last up to 6 hours. Thank you for praising God in advance with us for all He has done and is about to do in the operation room. We give thanks to God that he holds our son in the palm of His hand. We give thanks to God that he will be guiding every medical professional that crosses Theodore’s path. We give thanks to God that Teddy will have an overwhelming sense of peace and security while away from his Daddy & I… We give thanks to God for Isaiah 53:5 because God’s Word is TRUE and will never return void. We give thanks to God because He is always GOOD and loves our ‘Teddy Bear’ even more than we do … Theodore Richard Nelson will live and not die; he will declare the works of the Lord.