๐ป๐‘œ๐“Œโ€™๐“ˆ ๐’พ๐“‰ ๐‘”๐‘œ๐’พ๐“ƒ๐‘” ?

โ€ฆ itโ€™s a question you ask in parenthood the moment your child leaves your arms, exits your home, or quite frankly does anything outside of your presence for more than just a few hours.

Your partner takes the baby for a while: you find yourself checking in, โ€œHowโ€™s it going?โ€

Date night with your spouse: youโ€™re texting Grandma a few times, โ€œHowโ€™s it going?โ€

New routines for your toddler without your supervision, you message the teacher, โ€œHowโ€™s it going?โ€

The school bus drops off your older child: you surely have to assess their day by asking, โ€œHowโ€™s it going?โ€

Evenโ€ฆ your critically ill child stuck in the ICU for months on end: you sprint to that nurses station every morning to get a report on โ€œHowโ€™s it going?โ€โ€ฆ

We want these updates; weโ€™re entitled to them as parentsโ€ฆ arenโ€™t we? But what happens if those answers donโ€™t come; if youโ€™re met on the other side of that question with a vague โ€œgoodโ€, or better yet, a confident โ€œjust trust meโ€ response โ€ฆ we ask for more detail; our hearts crave that detail.

Certainly one of the hardest parts of this journey inside โ€˜Bereaved Parenthoodโ€™ is saying โ€˜goodbyeโ€™ to your child, knowing that your question of โ€œHowโ€™s it going?โ€ will never be answered (in detail) again.ย  Us โ€˜Bereaved Parentsโ€™ are left with retraining our minds to solely trust in Him, and no longer survive off our own discoveries through our daily โ€œHowโ€™s it going?โ€ interrogationsโ€ฆย  Itโ€™s incredibly hard. Itโ€™s against our every instinct in our parental bones.ย  Yet, He who watches over our children, loves them as His own, even down to promising to wipe their every tear (Revelation 21:4).ย 

Five whole years is an awful long time to not get the specifics on โ€œHowโ€™s it going?โ€.ย  But, if God as our โ€œbabysitterโ€, assures us, even in writing, that our childโ€™s is loved, safe, and happy, I guess that’s all any good parent can really ask for after allโ€ฆ

(When I said โ€˜goodbyeโ€™ on 4.9.20 โ€ฆ my heart broke when yours became whole, Theodore. But, Mama is one year closer to squeezing you, and asking once again, โ€œHowโ€™s it going?โ€ โ€ฆ I love you ๐Ÿงธ)

-โค๏ธAlexandria

… join me by #FallingRightSideUp ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿผ

when life gets turned upside down๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ

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