This is what our “family time” looks like nowadays. We’ve been forced to trade the comforts of our own home for a space that feels cold and unfamiliar.
Instead of the television mounted above our cozy fireplace, it now sits over a red biomedical waste container. Instead of coloring with MacKenna at our kitchen table, we balance books and crayons on the hospital roll-away trays. Instead of sprawling out and snuggling together on our couch, we sit upright and confined in our own separate hospital chairs. Instead of running our toes through the carpet, we keep our feet inside sneakers for hours on end. Instead of just scooping up our ‘Teddy Bear’ whenever we please, we carefully plan out his transfer from the bed to our arms by untangling cords and silencing beeping machines.
Despite these unfortunate “less than ideal” trade-offs, ‘home’ will always be where my family is – and if it wasn’t ALREADY for the Grace of God, we would not even be sitting in this new type of “family room” as a “family of four”. God’s Grace has gotten us ‘here’, but it is our faith-filled mindset that will take us further…. because ‘here’ is simply not enough. ‘Here’, in this Intensive Care Unit, will not cut it for my family. I am ready. I am ready to trade my faith that got my family ‘here’, for the type of faith that will take my family ‘home’.
We’ve traded spaces; but our ‘new space’ here is only a ‘rental’. The truth is, I wanted to pack our bags and leave this ‘rental’ weeks ago, but ultimately our “landlord” gets the ‘final say’. And I refuse to breach a contract with God acting as our “landlord”. In my contract, I’ve committed to placing all my trust in Him for the sake of our son, Theodore. However, unlike most ‘tenants’, I pray and eagerly wait for my “landlord” to evict me. Just like a little girl daydreaming of presents under the Christmas tree, I excitedly fantasize about the day God posts our eviction notice on the ICU room glass door. This ‘eviction notice’ would allow us to go back to the ‘family room’ that we call ‘home’. I was carried here by God’s Grace. I was dropped here at this foreign doorstep. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never exercised my faith like this before; I’ve never had a reason to… but MY REASON; MY SON is much greater than any excuse I could ever make… I just don’t believe that God CAN do more, I believe that He WILL do more. My Faith will continue to interrupt what God is already doing in our lives… I’ll continue to knock on my “landlord’s door”, being so disruptive, making such a ruckus; that there will be no other choice for my family besides: “eviction”. #IBelieve
MY TEDDY BEAR PRAYER:
Theodore has been continuing to spike unexplained temperatures over the past couple days. The doctors are now concerned that it could be meningitis. Please pray with us that Teddy’s fevers come to a quick STOP and no further invasive testing needs to be done in the upcoming days. I thank God for all the resources that have been provided to us in order to sustain our son’s life, but I pray that I continue to put my trust fully in the one & only SOURCE- our Almighty God. As long as we’re in the presence of God, we have Hope. I pray to keep the doctors report behind me – and ‘Isaiah 53:5’ in front of me. I’ve never been here before, never “seen waters so rough” in my life, but I’m ready to fight with faith that I’ve never had before either… Theodore will overcome, and the fevers will be left in the past, not to return again in Jesus’ Name.
Please also continue to pray that Theodore can be slowly weaned off of his sedation medications as well, without the terrible affects of withdrawals. Our baby boy is 7 weeks old now and still has not been fed Momma’s milk. We’re hoping & believing for those breast-milk drip feeds to be turned on much sooner than predicted. The doctors are still estimating a few more weeks for “no food”, which completely breaks my heart. The power of prayer works and God can change this particular timeline, too.
Thank you for taking the time to pray for our son; we love and appreciate you all!
-️ Momma Bear, Praying Isaiah 53:5